How I Write Daily With a House Full Of Kids

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Kids are fun to be with. However, as anyone who spends time with them knows, they do not make the best working ‘companions’

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We know how cute and awesome kids can be: their curiosity, unending optimism, and wide-open minds all create a portal through which we see and appreciate the innocence we have now lost.

But, it ends about there — especially if you’re someone without a traditional job and must actively (or passively) earn your living day after day.

It’s also at the point where it ends that you’ll discover a hard truth (like I did): whether the kids are yours — as a parent, are your neighbor’s or are your siblings, the rules are the rules, and usually, kids won’t bend them for you, hence the strategies I have put in place to work full time at home despite having hyperactive children of my own.

So, if you’re in the same net as I am and need inspiration on how to get these little lovelies less on your neck, here are my tips — feel free to use them as offered or modify them to suit your unique reality.

1. The Deep Nights and Early Mornings Are Key

The deep nights and early mornings provide succor even the kids, with their innocent disturbance can’t penetrate or even understand.

All thanks to their hyper energies, they all quickly fall asleep when night draws to cool off and recover — this is when I move in swiftly, beating them at their own game.

While I try to write through the day as much as events permit, the sweet spot where the bulk of the inspiration comes is during the deep nights and early mornings — when the kids are still in bed.

These times are sacred and disturbance is usually largely absent, both from the kids and others.

I’ve also discovered that for the days I’m lucky to have grabbed a siesta, I work excellently, past 2100 hrs — with a lot of energy and inspiration flowing.

For those days when life happens, I simply go to bed with the kids earlier and rise around 0200 hrs to do my thing.

There’s something about rising around this time for work or working deep into the night: your energy levels are high and inspiration flows without challenges.

This is particularly true with me; try it, it might hold true for you too.

Some Notes About Making the Nights and Mornings Work for You

• Switch off your phone; you don’t want a call or notification bothering you around this sacred writing time.
• Don’t work around the kid’s bedroom(s), for any reason(s)…you don’t want to give them cute ideas that the time for play has come — should they happen to wake up unexpectedly.
• Do the most important task of the day during this time. For me, this, without question, is writing.

2. School Time Is GOLD

Folks who homeschool children have a special place in my heart: they also represent the fortitude and strength of parents in nurturing and bringing up these little angels.

However, for now, this ISN’T me — so my children attend a conventional school (where I debate the teaching methodology with school management almost every fortnight; more on that in another story).

This means, for every school day, I have roughly 6-7 hours of peace to do what matters to me, workwise, without anyone jumping at my back and seeking my attention.

This is also the period I take my siesta and tackle some of the less urgent but very important tasks that I couldn’t tackle during the night or early morning.

If I have some carry-over of very urgent and very important tasks, I also tackle them during this time.

Some Notes About Optimizing Kids’ School Time for Your Productivity

• I discourage social visits during the weekdays when I work at home. You may wish to do so too before your friends ruin your work time for you.
• I have a strict procedure of dropping the kids off in the morning and then, driving STRAIGHT home, to avoid unforeseen happenstance. You may wish to imbibe this level of discipline too.
• Finally, I plan up all nonwork-related matters: fixing the car (yes, I do this myself), DIY projects around the house, social visits, grocery shopping, etc to fall during the weekends. For this, I buy items mostly in bulk so that I stay on top of things. You may wish to apply the same to your reality.

3. Understand the Psychology of Kids (and Keep Them Happy)

Sometimes, we have a deep, adult-level conversation in the car as I pick them up and drive them home.

“Okay, listen up babies and children, lords and ladies…what will it take me to have some peace at home today? I have loads to accomplish,” I announce.

This is where the consultations start and putting together of heads, win.

“You’ll need to buy us ice cream, vanilla flavor!” A shout rings out from the back.

“I won’t take ice cream today. It’s pizza I want!” A counter usually presents itself, almost immediately.

The little ‘lords’ and ‘ladies’ continue in this manner till they have their list of demands, presented to me in front by the most senior.

On such days, I drive straight to the fast food spot and everyone goes home with smiles, wildly plastered on their little faces.

The implication?

No one wants to breach the contract not to make noise or disturb!

If anyone attempts to, the reminder is an unwritten rule, known by everyone: no more fast-food for that month…

…now, that’s a punishment no kid wants to invite home!

Some Notes About Understanding the DNA of Kids

• Be careful about this strategy: the idea is to appreciate the kids in advance for good behavior and NOT to bribe them to keep calm. If you make them believe it’s a bribe and not a fore-appreciation for good behavior, it’ll most likely backfire.
• Use this method sparingly; decrease the frequency even more if you figure out that the kids are becoming too fond of the treats.
• Be sure to buy each kid what he/she wants; there is no one-size-fits-all here.

4. Figure Out What Each Kid Wants (Everyone Is Different)

Sometimes, kids jump on you for obviously no reason; sometimes, they appear restless and need attention for no just cause.

If you believe the above, you’ve NOT been paying attention to the kids around you.

A child who appears to need your attention all the time might be having a hard time integrating well with their siblings hence the craving for the special attention you offer them, for instance.

This is why it’s very important to understand each kid and genuinely seek to know what moves them.

Once you understand their challenges and provide answers to their problems, you’ll be shocked how even the most hyperactive becomes quite calm and collected, much to your amazement and shock.

Some Notes About the Psychology of Kids

• Whatever you think you know about kids, put it behind you when dealing with them. Observe them and ask questions — this is the only way forward, to peace, if you please.
• It’s often believed that kids cannot express themselves. This is wrong. While the manner of their presentation might be termed childish, there is always a lot to take from what they say, provided you’re listening.
• Most kids are used to being ignored or not listened to. If you decide to adopt this measure, expect higher cooperation than usual from your kids — the variant you’ll only read about in novels.

5. Encourage Them to Write as Well!

All other things being equal, there’s nothing that kids desire more than growing up to be daddy and mommy someday.

The obsession with being an adult is so real that most kids idolize the adults in their lives, especially their parents.

This is where you come in and use this beautiful trait of theirs to your advantage, when you wish to work.

I have computers and tablets at home that I assign to each child and task them to create a compelling story for me.

It’s usually fun and the stories all have a way of revolving around themselves, their mother, or my bald head.

If I get thirty minutes to an hour to wrap up a story, I can live with the bald-headed stories.

Happily.

You should also consider this.

Some Notes About Getting Kids To Also Write

• If this route appeals to you, take time to invest in gadgets that are spill-proof and are designed to resist the shock of say, a drop. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE.
• If kids are given computers connected to the internet, it is VERY important to monitor what they’re doing during this time. I cannot stress this enough.
• Finally, to make the process competitive and foster a writing (and competitive) spirit in them, consider awarding some prize for the best story, judging by their age. The ‘prize’ can be as simple as an extra 30 minutes of their favorite PC activity, say games.

Bonus Point: Drawing Soft, Firm Boundaries

Now, this is where it gets interesting: sometimes, all the above strategies fail (or do not work as well as you intend them to) — all to no fault of yours.

When this happens, this is what I do: I set firm boundaries and clearly spell out the consequences of falling short.

Usually, depending on how many times the rules are breached by a child, punishment may vary from facing the wall standing (for at least ten minutes), to no TV for the week and in extreme cases, alone time in the naughty corner specially designed to host rebellious spirits.

These always work, without fail — but be careful how you use them: the little ones are your friends and MUST remain so.

Summary

If you have kids around you, you need to be creative if you’re to write in the manner you’d love.

To achieve this, I have mastered the following — you should also consider mastering the same if you’re interested in similar results:

1. Write mostly in the mornings and at night when they’re in bed.
2. During the week when the kids are away in school is a golden time to write.
3. If you must write when they’re around, reason with them.
4. Figure out what your kids want (and watch them also give you what you want).
5. Make them write too!
6. Bonus: if all else fails, set clear, strict boundaries and enforce consequences for breaches.

* All images generated with AI using prompts by the author.